If you’re a terrible petson, maybe don’t follow that advice. For example, if you find yourself seig hailing, ever, maybe try being someone better.
Neurodivergent people feel this
“Just be yourself” is not socially acceptable.
Eh… If I need to pretend to be something I’m not just to be “accepted” then I’ll rather not be. In most cases when people are changing their behavior to meet the expectations of others it’s actually their own imagined expectations they’re trying to meet rather than that of other people. As long as you’re not causing harm to anyone, most simply don’t care if you’re a bit weird.
It is ALWAYS bad advice. “Be yourself” is the most pointless thing to say to anyone. It doesn’t help the recipient at all. Same for “be a better person”. You could say “be genuine” and that would be slightly more helpful.
From my background in education: under-performers tend to be poor judges of their position, tend to have no idea what good performance looks like or how to get there, and tend to surround themselves with similar under-performers. So someone who is underperforming in a social role (making friends, fitting into their work place, dating, etc) needs a lot more focused and good quality feedback.
It works fine for people who are Neurotypical. However, chances are you don’t need to give social advise to a neurotypical person.
you don’t need to give social advise to a neurotypical person
Supremely disagree.
Here’s a podcast episode I’ve heard today to illustrate the example of just how bad most “neurotypical” can be with simple social interactions:
Hidden Brain: We Need to Talk
Episode webpage: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/we-need-to-talk/
Honestly, sometimes I wonder how much of neurotypicality is just a myth. I don’t know many neurotypical people, and the ones I do know don’t have their shit together any more than I do.
It’s because it’s incomplete advice.
It shouldn’t just be “Be Yourself”
It’s missing two important words, in the middle.
Be confident in yourself.
Nah, i rather be with an honest piece of shit than someone how “pretends” to be a good person.
“Be yourself”, so i can judge if i want to be with you or not.
Nah, i rather be with an honest piece of shit than someone how “pretends” to be a good person.
On the other hand, someone who “pretends” to be a good person all of the time is essentially indistinguishable from an actual good person.
Be the best version of yourself. We are all a product of our environment and opportunities. We are all animals. We are all evil under certain circumstances. All any of us can do is be the best version of ourselves.
I’ve settled for a mediocre version of myself. Much better ROI.
Sounds like your just optimizing for efficiency over peak performance. That a form of “best self”.
To an introvert it’s almost ALWAYS bad advice. Sitting in the corner doing something by yourself is not a winning social behavior.
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…why is the modern age full of new words that didn’t exist 20 years ago? I’m afraid to ask what it is…
