You’re missing the “rip it the fuck out with a rapidly rotating drum of tweezers” option.

I’m more of an Ox Cutter

I used a high powered laser to burn away each hair follicle one at a time over months

Ox Cutter

Sanding belt 👍

semiautomatic rifles are more for puncturing than cutting

Chainsaw of course! Anyone who uses something else is mentally ill

Hair spray & lighter 🔥

friction

I use a nuke

inner: scythe
outer: grow it out

Scythe 🥰

Don’t do this yourself! Your mom does it for me with her teeth. Shitpost4ever!

… A razor and a mirror

all of the above