I see a lot of people saying it’s “okay” to be a virgin at 22, or if you’re 22 and have never been in a relationship, it’s “okay.” But it really isn’t. Most people lose their virginity when they’re teens, and most people get into their first relationships in high school. So if there’s a 22-year-old out there who’s still single, never been in a relationship, and is a virgin, they’re an outlier. They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about. It’s like never getting your driver’s license until you’re 21 or something. But it’s okay to feel bad and shameful—this can motivate you to make better decisions in life.
It’s not shameful. It can, however, be a strong sign that you don’t have your life under control, wether for reason you control or not.
I reject your notion that it’s shameful to be an outlier.
On a completely different topic, everyone is going nuts for the new Taylor Swift album. The Weather Channel even reviewed it. The fucking weather channel. Oh, you think I’m kidding? I would too. Here, look: https://weather.com/news/weather/news/2025-10-06-taylor-swift-life-of-a-showgirl-opalite
Anyway, while I do plan on listening to the Taylor Swift album (I subscribe to Apple Music, so it will cost me nothing extra but ~41 minutes of my time), I’m way more excited about the ReoNa album, “Heart,” dropping today. Or because Japan is like 12 hours ahead of us, it’s probably already out. She’s my second favourite singer right now, behind Enya, who is fairly popular, at least as far as New Age-adjacent performers go (it’s a label she does not agree with, but that’s how people know her), but still seems to be an outlier. She does not do concerts. She hasn’t done an album in 10 years. She literally lives in a castle with modern security systems with her cats. She doesn’t date (has before, doesn’t care for it) and has no children. She’s most likely aroace, though music is her romance, it’s kind of weird saying she may be aromantic. But toward people, definitely. She has a few close friends and some family but no romantic connections to speak of. And she makes music that makes you feel like it’s straight from Heaven. Even if you’re not religious. It sounds straight up otherworldly.
I have no shame in being an outlier, and it’s not just music. Maybe OP thinks everyone should be the same. I’ve never had much interest in that.
Life isn’t a race, my guy. How quickly you reach external milestones (like a driver’s license or losing your virginity) is way less important than acquiring emotional intelligence and maturity. Those are the qualities that are actually valued in healthy adult relationships. Feeling ashamed for not having a relationship by a certain age is self defeating and can lead you into unhealthy thoughts patterns which can easily turn into becoming a victim of bad actors.
My question for you is how did you come to this conclusion? 22 is a pretty specific (and honestly young) age to throw out there randomly; are you 22 and angsting about not having a relationship? If so that’s valid, but you need cut yourself some slack and also not try to transfer your own shame onto others. You just have some growing up to do, start by loving yourself (not like that), and accepting yourself for who you are. If you can’t love you why would you expect anyone else to?
I am a 35-year old virgin. And I am probably going to die lonely and virgin. I didn’t ask to be brought up as a mentally fucked up dude, who is so scared of rejection that it is much better to not try at all.
Your ‘shower thought’ lacks basic empathy and understanding about people. But, then again, most people do.
They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about.
Do you have any evidence, at all, that links these two points?
I’m blocking you.
You should’ve been moderated already, for spamming the comm with stuff that has to be against Rule 1 (All posts must be shower thoughts).
I don’t usually pay attention to usernames, but I just laughed out loud when I checked their post history. Very rarely do I see a truly shit take on here, but most of the recent posts I remember being real stinkers are all from this same user.
Also the recent obsession with age is very strange.
This post was just a negative, discriminatory opinion. This kid needs a temporary ban at least.
Do better
No dude you are misinformed
It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude, but writing this sort of thing will 100% not getting you any fuck.
It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude
No, it isn’t. Like I said, most people love their virginity before that age. If you are a 25-year-old man who’s a virgin, no woman who’s 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 or 31 years old will want to date you because they don’t want to date a virgin, and that goes for most adult men and women who have sexual experience.
It sounds like a projection but okay 🤷
I began my first relationship around 21. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I also was happily married before turning 30. There’s no shame in being a little late, but it may be a sign of something you need to work on. Git gud as it were.
Didn’t get my DL until I was 18. Didn’t have sex until I was 22. Best friend was a virgin when he got married at 30. Everyone is different. Everyone’s experience is different. You shouldn’t feel bad. Just do you.
The reason I didn’t enjoy sex in my teens/20s as much as I do in my 30s was mainly because of the social pressure about it that made me anxious all the time.
So screw this mentality for spoiling my early experiences.Why are you so concerned with who fucks whom? you’re saying that shame could be a good motivator for someone to fuck someone they otherwise wouldn’t. Touch grass.
If you’re <= 22 and writing this, are you ok?
If you’re > 22 and writing this, everyone is on their own journey. They may just prefer being single, and that’s totally ok. They may also not respond to negative comments. Instead, they might need someone to encourage their confidence.
If you’re >22 and you’re wasting brain-cycles on what age people are losing their virginity at, perhaps you need a bit of introspection.
As a side note to this I didn’t meet me partner until I was 26. And honestly I’m glad. Enjoy your life. Its hard to see that from the other side but its fine but you should be ready to settle down before you do.
Also the idea that meeting your partner is this single point in time you have to hit by 22 is rediculous. Relationships are a journey. Even if you met you’re partner at 22, chances are by 33 you will have grown as people. I think it’s more of an escelator you hop on at any age, if you desire a romantic relationship.
Like I said, most people love their virginity before that age. If you are a 25-year-old man who’s a virgin, no woman who’s 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 or 31 years old will want to date you because they don’t want to date a virgin, and that goes for most adult men and women who have sexual experience.
No woman at all? None? Do you have a source of that? Is there a survey you can point to? Do believe that there are no women in that age range who also lack sexual experience?
I know for a fact that there are a lot of adult men who look for a lack of experience in their partners. There is a smaller number of women who look for the same, but they are out there. Actually, my own first experience was with someone who called herself a virgin hunter. It turns out she preferred virgins because she was bad at sex, but that’s beside the point.
I guess I should be very ashamed of myself then. I got my license at 21. I’m now 22 and still a virgin. I’ve known for a long time that I move slower than others and I really don’t care. Like genuinely why do some people think having sex at a young age is like the most important thing ever?? Like why do you even care?
At 31, would I be happy to learn a potential partner my age is a Virgin? No. Would I be put off with a “I took my time and wasn’t prioritizing it over other things that mattered”? Also no.
The real turn off is a virgin who’s pissed about it, bitter about it, or well into adulthood and very focused on it. I’m not even saying nobody wants those people but as someone who’s been around the block a few times, is happily married and practices casual nonmonogamy I see people like that the same as I see people feeling similar ways about their other reasons for not getting laid.
Dawg, I’m autistic and I’ve read it like 10 times and I still don’t understand what the bottom part means. Like if it’s meant for me it doesn’t make sense and it would make sense applied to OP but then why is it not a reply to OP?
