please remove the French language pack
please rm -fr /*
Some people just wanna see the world burn
For people that don’t get the joke: this messes up your system
If you’re out of the loop: this is part of the joke tricking people into dedicating precious hard drive space to an unnecessary language pack.
Now a days you have add —no-preserve root after the laggy French pack to fully remove it.
Not with the asterisk! The shell automatically expands the asterisk before sending the args to rm, removing every French language pack in your root directory.
please killall
I see…
Make sure to combine it with
Disallow /harm/to/humans
What it feels like using windows.
“Please shutdown?”
“No, forced update time.”
“Please uninstall this browser and use this other instead?”
“No.”
alias alias='alias'
I’m scared of you
I might actually do this, it seems nice.
It’s a longer command. I wanna get shit done. I’m aliasing commands to make them shorter, not longer. But it does seem like it’d be a little friendlier.
sudo make me a sandwich
“Would you Kindly …”
please shutdown
THIS INCIDENT WILL BE REPORTED.
I aint typing out ‘please’, I will compromise on
alias plz='sudo'
alias ty='exit'
shit, that’s a radical move
please rm -rf /
please apt install clang
User isn't in polite boy list. This incident will be reported.
I prefer to use
kudasai
… but as some may already know, it should be at the end of thesentencecommand 😅, so I added a custom hook to my ZSH config to make it run commands aspacman -Syu kudasai
.Essentially you can add any type of string matching in the function. Add this to the end of your
.zshrc
file:function kudasai_preexec() { # Check if the last word is ' kudasai' if [[ $1 == *" kudasai" ]]; then # Remove ' kudasai' and prepend 'sudo' cmd=${1%" kudasai"} eval "sudo $cmd" # Prevent the original command from running return 1 fi } # Register the preexec hook autoload -Uz add-zsh-hook add-zsh-hook preexec kudasai_preexec
Edit: as downside you always get
1
exit code with this implementation (little_annoying) .damn, this is some next level shit
aka The Magic Word.
side note: My all-time favorite linux utility is “fuck”. When you make a mistake and get a command line error, you type the word fuck and it looks at what you previously typed and the error message, and tries to figure out your mistake and what you should have typed instead. Then it types that in for you. If it’s correct all you have to do is hit Enter. Or you can edit first, but it’s usually right. Amazing tool, and doesn’t even use AI, just a list of common errors. It’s been around for years and years. Its mere existence really captures the whole culture of linux IMO.
Its name is dangerously close to fsck. Can you fuck fsck?
That’s the beauty of it - you can!
See, I couldn’t bring myself to type that; I think I’d have to alias it to ‘bother’.