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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • My hope would be that the girls your friend rails behave and feel the same way and their respective partners if they have them know it too, or they’re single and that’s their thing. Maybe they don’t care about herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, or HIV either, because the thrill is worth the risk.

    I know that isn’t even mostly the case and most people are behaving in ways they will later regret. But I do think there’s a culture in which we can be more honest and happy with having a bit more love in our lives.

    It will take work and conversations like this are a small part of that I guess.


  • I would be uncomfortable with my partner hooking up with a stranger. That’s a betrayal of our shared values, and creates risks for both of us (e.g. unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and general drama that could create a lot of unnecessary stress). I would rather know that she has fallen for someone we’re both know preferably, and who she loves and believes she can trust implicitly. I would still feel a healthy amount of jealousy, and be worried about thing going wrong, and her being hurt. But I would trust her judgment, and trust she won’t run away and leave me to raise our kid on my own. But yeah, the sex, and intimacy in this case, wouldn’t bother me too much.



  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    What makes cheating, cheating, is the betrayal of trust involved more than any specific acts of intimacy. The reality is in monogamous relationships merely falling for someone else, even without then knowing how you feel, already feels like a betrayal in your heart as a loyal partner who wishes you only had eyes for your SO and nobody else. Even porn in some cases is a betrayal. It’s a whole lot of unnecessary suffering not to acknowledge how the overwhelming majority of us won’t mentally thrive under these conditions. Therefore, setting expectations appropriate for your situation is key.

    For my part, my SO understands that due in part to her relatively low sex drive and complete lack of initiative, certain needs of mine aren’t being met, and we’ve talked about it. I still love her deeply, and we have recently had a child, and I have every intention of meeting my obligations as a father and partner for the rest of my life. But, there’s a real possibility I could fall for someone else one day. I already have friends who I can say I love and would jump at the opportunity to be intimidate with should they show that kid of interest. What interests me though, are loving bonds, not hookups (I mean STD risks and all sorts. Ew). I want to be close with those who I sleep with, and i want them to know I love my partner and will always be there for her and our child. But, there’s space for them too, if they want in. Ideally, my partner likes and accepts them too - and the more close they are as friends (or even lovers too) the better.

    In any case, that’s the dream I guess. Nothing has happened yet, and I find with a baby to look after, I’m in no rush, and certainly even with everything out in the open, it’s still too much drama to navigate at the moment. But if it does happen one day, at least it won’t result in a litany of lies that lead to guilt and suffering all around. At least, that’s the idea. I know it will never be quite that easy in reality, but it wouldn’t be life otherwise!


  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    People aren’t honest enough with each other and their own needs. Meanwhile we build other dependencies in long term relationships that have nothing to do with physical attraction, but are in most cases more important for all kinds of reasons.

    Monogamy is the basis of a lot of unnecessary suffering because it’s resisting a very real need we continue to have even when our relationships become romantically stagnant. If we could all just be honest about it with our SOs without fear, and work together as we do anyway to maintain other commitments to each other, we could have a culture where there’s a lot more freedom to seek more intimacy and love in a way that isn’t dishonest, that isn’t “cheating”.








  • Fuck me, he doesn’t even care about the real risk Trump poses, not only to the US, but to the world. I don’t care if he’s done a few good things in his time, Biden’s literally going to hand the presidency back to this felonious fucking psychopathic liar.

    I swear in 2016 I got blipped into an alternative dimension where eventually everything will be consumed by the langoliers

    Edit: The US invented MRNA vaccines, and we get the piece of shit from The Apprentice to hold our nuclear codes, handed the baton by a senile old man asleep at the wheel.



  • That’s a start then. I hope you’re wrong.

    I think we’re still a long way from reasonably comparing Hamas’s use of human shields and Martyrs among their own people, to this.

    I do think there are likely a very significant number of IDF soldiers who are monsters who treat Palestinians as subhuman out of pure prejudice and maybe psychopathy. Because of course there are in any military, and very likely moreso in this one. But there is insufficient evidence this applies systemically more than to a very small minority, and more in the IDF than wider Israeli society of course. But they’re still not motivated by anything specific in the culture except a long history of conflict. There is no intrinsic reason for even psychopathic Jews to be prejudiced toward Palestinians on the basis of Judaism. Not so the other way around, when there is well established hatred of Jews in Islam.

    This matters, and I remain sure history will remember this following what’s to come (especially if Trump wins the election).