

When people have created a narrative that “white x y z men” are responsible for all the evil in the world (I’m exagerating, but you get my drift), it creates a very difficult situation when those people are facing some serious difficulties. The intellectually lazy thing to do in that case is to brush it off or minimize it, like in the ways you’ve described. And unfortunately, that’s the route those same people will take, since identity politics are intellectually lazy (and lacking compassion, but that’s another story).
The unfortunate part of it is that the right has taken advantage of that wide open flank, which is one main reasons we’re in this current clusterfuck.
A relationship should never be used as a means to have sex. That will only hurt people. And a relationship is so, so much more than just sex.
Honestly, to me it sounds like you don’t really want a (romantic) relationship in the first place. And that’s completely fine. Don’t try to force something on yourself that you don’t want. That will only hurt your partner and disappoint you. It’s completely fine to just want friends with benefits or one night stands (or both, as long as you’re careful). You do you.