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Cake day: June 20th, 2023

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  • I have a private parking spot off street in a city. I don’t like backing up towards the main road; since it has pedestrians and stuff. It’s a little harder to see.

    So I back into the spot. It’s way easier than backing out - and pulling out is even easier. 

    My work parking garage is already really tight. It’s another situation where backing in is easier than backing out - and driving forward our is even easier. So just some planning.


  • Columbia House and BMG were record clubs in the 1990s. This was a subscription service that regularly sent music album CDs to your house. They advertised in mailings, TV, radio, etc. It was ubiquitous.

    The catalog for available records was quite vast. 

    In order to get new customers, these record clubs had a loss leader marketing approach. You would get 5-10 CDs for only a penny for signing up, and you are not charged for the first month. After, there is a hefty cost. The CDs are yours to keep, but you need to cancel the membership before the first payment is due.

    Word spread pretty fast that the deal was legit. For many of us kids pre-internet piracy, Columbia House represents the biggest album haul of that era.


  • Yeah. What’s cool about guitar is that there’s really no wrong way to play it.

    I’ve been playing for 15 years, and the way I pick is not going to be the same as the way my friends pick. Or, like - I have one friend whose left handed. But he doesn’t play a lefty guitar, he just plays upside down… without changing stringing (so his high notes are on top now). It’s weird, but he plays incredibly.

    Ukelele has some drawbacks. It’s a comparatively thin sound that doesn’t work well as an accompaniment for a lot of singing. It’s also much harder to go from Uke to Guitar than Guitar to Uke. It’s a bigger climb if you feel the range isn’t enough.

    A mini acoustic travel guitar could be a better alternative. Small fretboard so your hand doesn’t have to stretch as much.


  • You have some options.

    Firstly, remember that learning music is basically learning a new language. So be patient.

    Piano/keyboards are great because of low-cost of entry. You can find second-hand instruments in all sizes (25 key up to 88 keys) on Craigslist or Reverb for as low as $50. If it has MIDI or USB, you can hook it up to your computer and control endless downloadable virtual instruments - and/or record it easily to write songs.

    It’s an ideal instrument to learn theory. I recommend getting a roll of masking tape and labeling all the keys until you memorize them.

    Guitars are more fun, IMO. They’re portable. You don’t have to learn as much theory to get started and it’s certainly less formal. Some of the best guitarists around don’t really know what they’re doing - they’re just feeling. You don’t get a much of that with piano.

    Guitar is all about awkward hand positions and building muscular memory around that. I never know what note I’m playing half the time when I play guitar - I just know the positioning.

    The downsides is maintenance. Guitars require tuning before playing, changing strings periodically, etc. There is a higher cost of entry. A lot of new players buy terrible quality cheap guitars with unchanged strings and get discouraged by the poor sound and feel.

    Ukeleles are generally cheaper and it’s easier to get a good sound. They work similar to guitar and you can figure out the basics fairly quickly.


  • In some cases, they never went away. In New England - especially northern parts of Maine and New Hampshire, there are communities that are plurality Francophone, and have been Americans for generations. 

    I think one thing that people often don’t understand is that American English is highly influenced by the French language - accounting for 30% of all words. Words like Lieutenant are pronounced differently in British and American because of the French influence. Or the word “herb” - Americans don’t pronounce the H just like the French.

    As far as cultural things, of course the US is known for its wine. Napa Valley is one of the best wine regions in the world. Those wines consistently beat French and Italian wines in international competitions. Finger Lakes, as well. American cheeses like cheddar are very popular. There are entire states known for this, like Vermont and Wisconsin. I think in terms of bread, you see more influence from Italian and German breadbakers then French.

    That said, French influence is just one of many patches on the rich tapestry that is America. It was impactful, but the influence was definitely overshadowed by groups like Irish, Italian, Polish, Chinese, and African Slaves - whose descendants have created our greatest modern cultural exports.



  • Ah.

    Well in that case…

    I used to go fishing with my dad when I was younger, but as an adult I don’t think I have the heart to do it.

    I don’t want to be the one to chose who lives and who dies. Even bugs, I have a hard time swatting flies. I try to capture them and let them outside. But some of the time, I kill them - and end up feeling really guilty after - sometimes for days.

    When it comes to eating meat, I’d rather live in a world where meat is grown in a lab, rather than raised. I think stuff like Impossible Burgers have gone a long way in terms of reproducing flavor and texture… but not there yet.

    I guess I reconcile the fact that the animal is dead before it gets to my plate/kitchen. Someone’s going to eat it. Why not me? Or I make up some funny idea like, “well - if this cow was human, they’d probably be an Andrew Tate listener - so screw ‘em!”

    More often, I just try not to think about it and just enjoy what I’m eating.

    I don’t know. Maybe my ethics will change one day to a point where I actually change my diet drastically. But knowing myself, it could take a health scare before I do that.


  • Suffering is a broad definition. One would argue that prematurely ending sentient life without their consent would fit that definition.

    Often, it’s not suffering on an individual level - but the suffering of a species. Cows live in bondage and we benefit from their labor and chose to end their lives for our benefit.

    Sometimes Vegans extend this philosophy to pets and service animals - even if they’re treated exceptionally well.

    The point is that Veganism is less monolithic than folks tend to believe. A person’s diet can be deeply personal and it’s up to them to draw lines.

    I’m a meat eater. I don’t have an issue eating cows. I don’t have an issue eating rabbits, which I know people also keep as pets. I don’t have an issue eating lobster - whereas they’re boiled alive. But I know I couldn’t eat a cat or dog. Realistically, I have trouble with veal. So ya know, where I draw the line might not be the same for other people. My diet is informed by my culture, health, experiences and personal feelings - as is everyone’s.


  • It depends on the definition of Veganism.

    There’s is a popular school of thought that the diet‘s sole purpose to reduce suffering. If a living thing has no central nervous system (or brain), it has no thoughts and cannot experience pain or harm. It’s not much different than a fruit or vegetable. I know vegans that make exceptions for oysters - for example.

    Others schools of thought are about avoiding animal products altogether, it doesn’t matter if it suffers or not - there’s no way to know. Therefore, it’s immoral to eat them if you can knowingly choose an alternative.



  • When you look at someone else’s life, you only see the Highlights Reel. You don’t hear about all the boring in between moments, their struggles with imposter syndrome and insecurities, their relational arguments or troubles with their family, all the BS.

    Life isn’t about keeping up.

    It’s a parlor trick, magically coming into existence for a fraction of a moment in this infiniteness of time and space. The best thing we can do is cherish the miracle and squeeze the most happiness for the time we have. It’s respecting life.

    For some, that means service to others. For others, it’s patenting science projects. And then there’s those that find it in an honest job, being good to people they love, and exploring hobbies from time to time.

    Happiness is definitely not a contest. Especially one that you put yourself through fully knowing you won’t win.

    But if you feel like you need more value in your life, it’s never too late to do something new.



  • You should react, at least lol. But you need to consider that most folks aren’t looking for advice. Rather, they need a validation of their experience.

    Better to say “Wow, that really sucks” or “That’s crazy!”.

    Maybe ask a followup question the to show that you’re listening, “well, what happened after?” or “what are going to do next?” End with “Thanks for sharing that with me, I know it’s not easy”.

    Do not say, “you should try X or Y” unless they explicitly ask.

    It’s a weird concept for me, cause when my wife vents - I hear a problem and I want to offer solutions. But I gotta fight that instinct.


  • Same reason there are multiple phone companies. Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile, Google Fi, Cricket Wireless, Mint Mobile, etc.

    They all allow you to communicate with your friends no matter what provider they use. But the companies are all slightly different. You might choose one due to better coverage, or customer support, or corporate ethics, or simply cause a friend recommended it.

    Phones are redundant. So if Verizon fails, you can always sign up for another provider and still talk to your friends. Or if you have a bad experience, you’re not stuck using something you hate.

    Plus, if one company ruled all of phones, it would be a bad thing. Monopolies aren’t good.

    Lemmy isn’t the only thing out there with ‘multiple websites’ online. Email - there is more than just gmail, outlook, yahoo, proton, etc.

    It’s not confusing to you that there are multiple email companies, that all work together, right? You don’t need a gmail account to send a message to a gmail user.

    So don’t think it Lemmy like a website owned by one company. It’s not. Just like nobody owns “email”. Think of it like a protocol.

    But I get it. Lemmy is an emerging technology. People are expecting it to be new Reddit. And it is on the front end. But it’s closer to new email.


  • Lemmy has a long way to go in terms of user experience before it can effectively compete with Reddit. The majority of new accounts in the last weeks have been spite users. That is, they’re here not because they love Lemmy - but because they hate Reddit.

    That’s not a bad thing, per say. It doesn’t matter how people get here. It’s more important that they have a good reason to stay.

    And the average user doesn’t care if something is federated or centralized. They just want a product that works and is simple to grasp. In my opinion, app developers are going to be the gamechanger Lemmy needs Stuff like Memmy (on the iOS app store today!), Mlem, Liftoff, Thunder are pretty much better than the official Reddit app. And that’s how most people consume content these days. When there’s no enshitification ads or microtransactions - there’s clearly going to be a winning experience.

    It’ll take time, but as more Federation communities build - the less Reddit is necessary. As well, it usually takes a long time before people start catching on that the tools they once loved have turned to into bots and spam.

    Mastodon is in it’s 7th year, and has like 8 million active users. Twitter had 200 million users by it’s 7th year. On one hand, Mastodon is the biggest Federation app. On the other, Twitter was 25x as large. Of course, Twitter is no longer the relevant “town hall” it once was - and is hemorrhaging users and respect. So who knows. It only takes a few celebrity endorsements to get countless folks switching. Who knows



  • I used to work for an organization that provided legal, educational, medical and social services to inner-city children and their families. These families were mostly Black and Latino.

    If we were hiring for a job that had an equally qualified black and white candidates, the choice is clear. In order to be successful, you need to have good professional relationships with clients. It is far more effective if the client can relate to one’s lived cultural experience. It’s also very important for at-risk children to see relatable adults succeed in a world that has been systemically unfair to them.

    In Austria, this hiring process may be considered racist. But here, we recognize that there are a lot of fringe benefits when hiring for diversity.

    In fairness, race is not something that’s discussed unless it’s directly related to the role. As stated above, you are free to check “Prefer Not To Say” if an application asks about race. Most of the time, that information is used for census and surveys.

    Having done a lot of HR in my life, you’d be surprised how many hiring managers are passively racist.

    I’ve seen applications rejected simply because the hiring manager doesn’t want to embarrass themselves mispronouncing a name. Or they assume communication language skills without ever talking to someone. Or they not-so-sublte, “I can just feel this one won’t be a good fit”.
    Like, “Really, Bob? What’s on Fatima’s resume gives you that impression? She’s clearly qualified.”

    I wonder how much worse the racial wealth gap would be if ‘equal opportunity employment’ wasn’t a thing.


  • Keeping track of race is entirely optional.

    You’re 100% free to decline including it on any personnel file or application (with the exception of acting/modeling). It’s also self-identifying.

    Consider that as a multi-racial pluralistic society - our values will be different than a European country whose major ethnic groups are the indigenous people.

    We have an unfortunately long legacy of systematic racism issues. Communities or color experience slower emergency response times, fewer school resources and teacher pay, redlining and gerrymandered districting, food deserts, fewer public transportation options, and often fewer per capita polling stations on Election Day.

    Until race stops being an observable factor for community outcomes, we still have a lot of work to do.

    Many organizations see and understand this. As part of their sense of corporate social responsibility, companies make a good faith effort to hire from a ethnically diverse pool of candidates. If all your candidates are white - a company needs to ask itself if that’s a reflection of their own hiring biases or if that’s a systemic issue within the talent pool? It’s good to know these things - because industry surveys are constant - which help local leaders, non-profit organizations, colleges and universities, and governments do their jobs.

    Meeting diversity goals is good for a variety of reasons. Importantly in capitalism, it’s good to investors because customers tend to prefer supporting diverse companies. Perhaps more importantly than that, different backgrounds offer different modes of thinking when it comes to problem solving. Crowd sourcing from a bigger idea pool is good for productivity.