It’s not a toober. Back to da choppa!!!

Come back, come back my little Rats, it’s a chance to invest!!!

Strange, its almost like because slavery is still legal, companies are using it for profits in some kind of military industrial prison “complex”…

You are a vampire. Invest in sunblock.

DO NOT READ THIS SIGN UNDER PENALTY OF LAW

I was going to take the time to write a biting riposte just like this, but I, unlike some people, know that it’s my patriotic duty to get to work for this Billionaire Payday"economy" and work until I die. This country is built on, for, and by everyone agreeing that if you aren’t working or buying, preferably both, you better get busy dying. After all, how can I ever hope to be happy unless our benevolent overlords can vacation on Mars? So, put down that damn infernal computer machine, and get out there and buy, buy, buy. We can’t have profits down this quarter, or they’ll ration our Brawndo! And never forget, it’s all very different from slavery, because we are paid, have freedomprofits, and healthcare…Uh, well, it is very, very, different. Anyways, 'Murica!!! GET BACK TO WORK!!!

They said we’d have jetpacks and flying cars, and all we got was this dog fucking a robot. I’m calling bullshit.

It’s because the demons fly out of you when you sneeze, and you need to be blessed to prevent them from getting back in, or so they thought back in Black Plague days.

No, no. It’s not like he’d have access to launching the nukes or anything. Checks Notes Oh Shiiiiiit

This is The Way.