squints hard
Sean Mall?
Which Sean got his own mall? Or is it a mall specifically for Seans? As a non-Sean (cool rhyme, right?) am I forbidden from Sean Mall? Are Shawns allowed in?
My poor vision creates nothing but inquiries.
“Aw, you got kids, Maniac?”
“Nah…not anymore…”
Agrajag shall be avenged!
starts rhythmic clapping
HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY…
FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!
This feels like a Mitch Hedberg joke.
I know this is a grumpy old man take, but I’ll never get over the fact that they decided to call these dastardly things “hoverboards.”
Blasphemy, says eight year-old me, having just watched Back to the Future: Part II and now obsessed with someday obtaining a floating skateboard.
When you turn 12 and promptly WAKE UP.
I’ll be honest with you. I very nearly did. Sorry. That’s on me.
Superintendent, I was just-- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
Sometimes you can lose but still win.
I saw a chicken today.
God, I miss shittymorph.
“Kept the glove though. Keeps my beer from cooling my hand…and keeps my hand from warming my beer. And it looks pretty BAD ASS.”
You know who else looks like a pig on a flatbed truck?
Right? I couldn’t even focus on the headline with Super GOP Kart up there.
Sorry for the convenience!
(R.I.P. Mitch)
Xenomuppet