I can relate to this. I’m a full blown atheist, someone who just doesn’t have any doubt on their beliefs for religion.
Even then, when I visit my besties Eastern Orthodox Church once in a blue moon (probably for a significant personal occassion or learning a new Holiday I never celebrated), I still feel an overall sense of community at her Church, and it helps that everyone i’ve met there is so nice.
I don’t believe being a Christian (especially a conservative Christian) is the lifestyle for me, and I just can not bring myself to believe for a moment in it, but even with that, the vague sense of community is still there. Makes for a pleasant trip at least.
To be honest, not a whole lot is different these days for me. I was raised to believe in God, Heaven, eventually Hell, and the importance of honoring the family tradition of going to Church every single Christmas and Easter, their occasions that absolutely cannot be missed.
I will note that I deconverted fully around 14 years old, ironically during the Christmas Eve service and my single biggest fear for a couple of years was my family finding out and their reaction.
Things have gotten better since then, and thankfully, my atheism is (mostly) accepted by my family these days, so all’s well.
Obligatory comment: My sunday’s are actually free now, so time for some video games.