• DarkThoughts@fedia.io
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    2 months ago

    No, they neither have to live with it, nor is it selfish not to be able to carry that burden, nor is it their fault for having to go through this. Do you think the same shit about people who suffer physically? People with late stage cancer? Should they not decide for themselves at which point their life is not worth living anymore? Chester didn’t leave because he was selfish, he left because that was the only way for him to end his pain and suffering, and you’re blaming him for that - and everyone else who goes or went through similar trauma. You’re fucking disgusting, just like the band.

    • felixwhynot@lemmy.worldM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 months ago

      I’m not removing this comment bc I think the discussion about suicide has some merits but please stop with the name calling and review the community guidelines. Thanks

    • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      Username checks out?

      It was somewhat selfish when you are in the situation Chester was in, and it’s psychological. He had a responsibility to fight that demon for his wife, kids, and family.

      It was not his fault he had the demon to begin with at all, and it wasn’t completely selfish. We aren’t responsible for the mental ailments we are born with, but we are responsible to work on them and not cause others to suffer because of them. Chester had all the resources in the world to fight that battle.

      I still completely empathize with the amount of pain he must’ve been in to make that decision, but I don’t absolve him of all responsibility from it. I don’t hate him or think he was a bad person for it at all, though. I very much hope he rests peacefully and his family can heal.

      I think people with late stage cancer and people who suffer from severe physical pain are a different conversation, entirely.

      • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 months ago

        Chester had all the resources in the world to fight that battle.

        So do many cancer patients, but you’d probably not say they’re selfish for losing that battle with their illness either. They’re suicide victims, not suicide perpetrators. That’s also why people call for not calling it “killing yourself”.

        I think people with late stage cancer and people who suffer from severe physical pain are a different conversation, entirely.

        And that’s why this stigma still exists. Depression is an illness, and suicide is the last stage of succumbing to it. But we can go with other examples as well if you want to. There was this guy a few years ago IIRC who was under chronic pain, due to a rare condition. He was very much fully functional in a sense, just constantly suffering. He was still fairly young, I think in his 30s and tried for a long time to get assisted suicide without success (until he did, IIRC in another country). He had friends and family too, like most people, but he decided a long time ago that life was not worth living under the circumstances he was in. Do you think that is selfish too?

        Can you even relate to any of those circumstances at all? Like, suicide is not something even a suicidal person does lightly. It’s a big and difficult step to take - even if you’re completely alone. But to take this step for someone who had a loving family and kids simply means that their suffering was still stronger, it still outweigh whatever brief moments of happiness they could feel, and whatever “responsibility” they had to their family. Speaking of which, you don’t see it that way, as you see yourself as a burden - and to an extend that’s what you are, even if people don’t like to talk about it. But the longer you’re sick, the more people will resent you for it. That’s an unfortunate truth as well that people have to understand. The people around you, are people you ultimately drag down into the abyss with you if you’re not able to get out of it. It’s in most cases just a matter of time, and it’s a crushing matter for someone who’s already down.

        • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          2 months ago

          life was not worth living under the circumstances he was in. Do you think that is selfish too?

          No I think it’s kind of different for physical pain, especially incurable.

          I have suffered with depression all of my life. If I didn’t have responsibilities like a family, pets, etc. I probably wouldn’t be here today. I’m not saying I’m better than Chester, nor am I saying that I was at the same level of suffering he was.

          I feel a lot of sympathy for him, and don’t think he was weak for it or anything. I do think that he abandoned his responsibilities, though. That’s all. No hate or disdain here. I feel for everyone involved. You seem like a good and empathetic person, FWIW. I just disagree a tad bit, that’s all.

          • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 months ago

            No I think it’s kind of different for physical pain, especially incurable.

            Yes, that’s bigotry and the cause for this stigma regarding mental illness.

            • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              2 months ago

              Its not bigotry. I feel like there are many many kinds of treatment for depression and they all should be exhausted first, especially in his situation. I would be okay with euthanasia if everything was tried, and if the person at least would have made a plan with a medical professional and family. Just like they would do in places where euthanasia for chronic pain is legal. I would be open to that idea. I just think there is a difference between suicide and euthanasia, I guess.

              Also, don’t get me wrong, Chester was very much a victim of his illness, and stigma around mental health is real. Stating the fact that he had a responsibility to his family doesn’t contribute to that, though.

              • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                2 months ago

                Do you seriously think Chester spent his decades since the sexual assault with twirling his thumbs…? Euthanasia is barely a thing globally, only few countries offer it and usually not for people with mental issues, which is exactly my point here. Mental illness is treated like some secondary issue, even though trauma are rarely curable, anti-depressants having a tremendous failure rate and are heavy on side effects, while therapy often only tries to teach you to “cope” with your issues, rather than getting rid of them.

                • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  2 months ago

                  I never once said he didn’t try at all so way to discredit your point from the get go. What about ketamine treatments? Psychedelics? I highly doubt he tried everything is all I’m saying. He had the responsibility to “cope” for his family.

                  I completely agree euthanasia should be a thing for extreme mental issues so you aren’t really saying anything different than I was there either.

                  I like 90 percent agree with you and disagree on one little thing. You seem to just want to fight with me for slightly disagreeing on his responsibility as a father and husband.

                  • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    2 months ago

                    What about ketamine treatments? Psychedelics?

                    They’re not legal in most places and where they are you’d still have to find a place that offers them, which would be difficult on its own already.

                    I highly doubt he tried everything is all I’m saying.

                    He tried what he could, as does everyone. You just don’t accept his & other peoples capabilities.

                    He had the responsibility to “cope” for his family.

                    You’re the good old “you just have to kick yourself in the butt” type of anti-depressant.

                    I like 90 percent agree with you and disagree on one little thing. You seem to just want to fight with me for slightly disagreeing on his responsibility as a father and husband.

                    I want you to see your bigotry, that’s all.