It’s a photo i took of one of those big ass beams where boats “park” on a foggy but very blue early morning, during a time in my life i was leaving at night on little “suicide walks” with my camera.

It’s not a very great or visual photograph, i put a teal filter over it as it’s my wife’s favorite color and photography sort of saved me while my wife saved me the first time i got lost in this suicidal rut.

Covid really screwed us over (it wasn’t just covid, right before we tried to buy a house after years of saving with the help of friends we trusted but shouldn’t have), no income, no house, no safety net…just a backpack and a fresh start during the worst possible time ever.

I got so lost in having no faith left that the job interview i did manage to land, i needed someone to pick me up halfway and take me there…i just collapsed and believed i wouldn’t get out of this hole. I never got that job but being at the bottom of the pit only leaves you with one direction to go: up.

And up we went…eventually, very slowly.

I’m not sharing the image as it’s mine and mine alone, it’s my pain, my struggle, my lesson and my strength.

I might actually have it printed and on my wall someday.