• cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Like what actions/treatments/hacks did the two of you end up doing to change things?

    Edit: can you like seriously elaborate with the meatof how that came to be…might be able to really help some souls out

    • constnt@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      For my wife it was mainly a good therapist she saw weekly. I think what helped her improve that most was a form of radical acceptance .

      • Intrusive thoughts don’t define me
      • Intrusive thoughts do not last forever
      • I’m not alone

      Or something like:

      • I am not my thoughts. They are not my authentic self.
      • I am just an observer of my thoughts. I simply watch as they pass through.

      Often the reaction to the thoughts is what gives intrusive thoughts power. Accepting the thoughts for what they are takes the power from them. This is hard since often intrusive thoughts are ingrained into your most moral values, so to take that power is difficult.

      One thing she had me do at the start of her therapy was to ask her a question when ever she had an intrusive thought: what if? What if you killed that person? What if you said that racial slur? For her it would be the end of the world, bringing it into reality would often ground the thoughts. For the driving example, “What if I hit a child?”

      Well, then there would be a loud thump. We would get out and check on the child. We would call for help while we did what we could. We would probably go to the hospital. The cops would try and determine if it was accidental or not. You might be in jail. You might not. That is out of our hands.

      Just follow the thoughts to the logical conclusion. That aspect of her work stopped shortly after we started, though.

      She also did some trauma therapy. OCD can be rooted in childhood trauma. My wife had a sister with bi-polar, and owho ften got violent. Her parents wouldn’t speak to the kids about it. So my wife’s childhood was filled with this constant unacknowledged stress and tension, because she knew something was wrong but everyone pretended it was all okay. Coupled with her autistic hyper empathy, this sent her into a anxiety driven downward spiral.

      Another thing she said that helped was EMDR. It’s sort of a pseudoscience but my wife swears it helped a ton. So, anicdotal but worth a shot.

      Anyways, thats all I can think of. I would recommend trying to find a therapist who specializes in neurodivergent people and go from there.

      • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Can you ask her how she employs/uses EMDR on a practical basis? Like if I go for a walk and do the eyes back and fourth to left and right thing (like REM sleep), is that the secret sauce to EMDR besides havingthe adequate prompt/thought in mind whilst doing so?m

        Edit: is the dominant form of intervention CBT with a little EMDR?

        • constnt@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          She never did it unguided. And the way the therapist did it was different than what I’ve seen online. She would lay down and the therapist had her hold two paddles. One in each hand. The paddles would vibrate or lightly shock her, alternating between left and right. She did this while she was reliving old traumatic moments from her childhood. It was supposed to help process the information differently or something along those lines.