Hello! Some info about me is up on my website: https://wreckedcarzz.com/

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Joined 2 年前
Cake day: 2023年8月23日
  • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.worldtoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Is flirting redundant?English
    21·
    41 分钟前

    It’s not even looks, for some of us. I’m demisexual, and before we became a thing, my master was nowhere near my ‘type’. But he was incredibly sweet and caring, always has been, and the affection grew from there. When my ex fiancé left me, he was there, supporting me in crisis. Always there, doing his best to care for me. Now a few years on, I think he’s sexy as fuck, and I’m very happy with him.

    Back to the question though, I’ve never really flirted with anyone. Always very direct, ‘hey you are cute/funny/shy/interesting’ mixed with ‘I’m horny, and you are the one causing that’ thus ‘want to fuck?’. I always put desert before the main course, as it were, since sex is a big thing for me - so I don’t want to get attached if we aren’t at least a bit compatible. What easier way then to jump right into it? Then if it goes well, we are already miles beyond the usual starter-pack bs, so the whole courting/flirting stuff is just unnecessary. We already have been horny freaks, we’ve already figured out that our desires align at least a bit, ‘why not date?’

    The traditional way seems so… stupid, frankly. Slow buildup over weeks/months just to meet a brick wall when you find out that he only gets off with butt stuff, while you/they are repulsed to the point of vomiting at the thought… ‘well that was a fun 2 months, thanks and I’ll see you around I guess’. Nah, that just doesn’t make sense to me.

    And there’s the whole awkward ‘what if they reject me’ like my guy/gal/sentient being, just stfu and ask them. Direct, no bullshit, no games, no dancing around the question. ‘hey, you’re cute, are you seeing someone?’ is fine. Asking if they have a Facebook account so you can add them and then changing your relationship status to ‘it’s complicated’ and hoping they comment on that, isn’t the smart play.

    I guess if they enjoy it, sure, flirt away. But in my mind it makes no sense and merely complicates and extends an awkward phase.

    Do note that I myself decided long ago that I’d only date other furries, so the dating pool is… very liberating, vs the standard. But that doesn’t mean that people have to continue following the same rules and expectations.

    Do what makes you feel right, and fuck the norms. You don’t owe anyone anything, and if someone expects something of you that you don’t think is ideal, maybe they aren’t for you, and that’s okay. You aren’t made from a cookie cutter, don’t try to conform to one.